Post by daphne on May 12, 2009 20:01:55 GMT -5
banner credit: Melinda
There Goes My Life
The perspective of pregnancy is most often told from the mother’s perspective in fiction and non-fiction so I thought I would try something different with this Ethan and Annie baby story. I will tell it from the teen father’s POV. In other words, its Ethan’s story – how he copes with impending fatherhood, being a dad at the age of sweet 16, and how he deals with everyone who wants to give him advice about Annie’s pregnancy. I hope you enjoy and leave lots of comments. It will have about 12 chapters so hold on for what should be a fun and rewarding ride. The title and theme of this fic was inspired by the Kenny Chesney song of the same title. Listen to it sometime. It’s wonderful and so telling and poignant.
Chapter 1: A Text Book Case?
Annie is talking to me, trying to fill me in, tell me where things went so wrong and all I can think about is the statistics I learned in Sex Ed yesterday. I never remember anything from that class – in fact, I usually sleep right through it – but here I am reciting in my head the facts that some 175,000 teenage girls get pregnant every year … that something like three out of every ten girls will be pregnant at least once before they turn twenty … that eighty percent of the biological fathers never marry their baby mamas. That’s just ridiculous. Not the marriage thing but the whole fact that I even remember this stuff at all and that I have just become a statistic myself, a regular textbook case …
“You’re sure?” Ethan asks Annie as they walk towards a bench in the middle of the empty quad. The final bell has just rung, signaling the end of lunch and that they should be heading to fifth period, Mrs. Wallace’s chemistry class, but that is the furthest thing from Ethan’s mind right now.
He can’t even look at Annie for some reason but he can imagine that there are tears in her green eyes because he can hear them in her voice even as she struggles to hold it together. She has always been the strong one in their relationship, the one who was the anchor, and now if she can’t hold it together how is he supposed to?
“I took the test yesterday,” she says. “It was positive …”
“These things can be wrong, can’t they?” Ethan says, twirling his class ring around absent-mindedly on his thumb. He still can’t look at her for some reason.
“I’m four weeks late, Ethan,” she says. “I am never late. I am definitely pregnant and I’m really scared …” He knows she is cause he can hear her voice wavering even more and feel the tension radiating off of her in droves.
“Have you told anyone yet?” he asks.
“No. I wanted you to be the first to know so we could decide what to do together …”
“What are you going to do?” Ethan says. The word “you” hangs heavy in the air, almost like an accusation and he won’t take it back. He can’t.
“I don’t know yet. But we have to decide soon. I mean, I think I’m two months along already and I might start showing soon …”
“How could this happen?” Ethan asked. “How could you let this happen? I thought you started taking the pill?”
Annie jumps to her feet. “Me? How could I let this happen?” she demands. “Last time I checked you were a part of this unless you think …”
“What?”
“Unless you think the baby isn’t yours,” she said and her voice sounds frail and he finally looks at her and she looks so pale and exhausted – not just physically either. Emotionally. She has been dealing with this for awhile by herself and he wasn’t there for her, had no clue. He should feel badly about that - that she had to deal with this alone, but he doesn’t. Again, he simply can’t go there.
“Are you saying that I might not be the father?” He demands. It doesn’t escape his notice that she is already calling it “the baby”. As if it has its own identity already when it’s still practically a ball of cells, in his mind anyway.
“I should slap you for that,” Annie spits out. “Of course you’re the father! How many other guys do you think I was screwing around with?”
“You tell me!” he shouts back. Just because he can. He wants to hurt her. He wants to put all the blame on her so he can act like this doesn’t concern him in anyway. Before the thought of any other guy with Annie would have killed him and here he is almost wishing there had been another guy in the picture. God knows he hadn’t been a saintly boyfriend but he knew she was committed to their relationship. This worried him. How committed to this baby is she already? She never goes into things blindly so she must be freaking out or already knows what she wants to do and is just playing games.
Although Annie doesn’t seem to be a game player or a liar, she’s still a girl and they all do whatever they think they need to do to hold onto their man. He thinks maybe she did this on purpose. To hold onto him. To make sure he didn’t go back to balling around with other girls.
“You are the only one, Ethan, and you know it! You are the only one I’ve ever been with,” she says through tears. “You’re this baby’s dad and you can’t make him or her go away just because you want them to. We have to deal with what’s happening.” She reaches for his arm and he quickly yanks it away like her touch has scalded him.
“Not right now. We have class remember?” He spits out. “Your dad will freak if you miss another class cause of me.”
“I think that will be the least of his worries once we tell him about this baby,” she says and another tear rolls down her smooth, perfect skin.
“We?” Ethan says. “Why can’t you tell him yourself?”
“Ethan!” she shouts. “Why are you being so difficult? Of course you have to be there. Just like I’ll be there with you to tell your parents.”
The thought of his parents curdles his stomach. He hadn’t even considered them. They will freak. No, they will hemorrhage over this. That their son might not live out their dreams for him … It would fracture them. He can imagine his dad would kill him or kick him out on his ass for good.
These thoughts just make his mood even darker and before he can stop himself, he’s sweeping past Annie and storming away. She calls his name – “Ethan!”; calls, “come back! Where are you going?”, but he can’t stop. He needs to get the hell of here. Where he goes he doesn’t care. He just can’t be here right now. Doesn’t want to look into the eyes of the girl he loves with all his heart right now because he just can’t even begin to think what to do next and he doesn’t want her to sway him. He loves her but in his mind, walking away now is self-preservation …